maren

Texas Xmas

Time flies when you're on vacation. It's after 8:00 am on Thursday the 29th of December anno domini 2011 and here I sit in PJs drinking coffee in the blessed silence of the grandmas' house in Fort Worth, Texas. We flew to TX on the 24th in time to celebrate Christmas in Texas with Grandma Linda, Rob's mom, and Alice the Great, Rob's grandma who is 92 years young. We've managed to do about half the things on our list --- old favorites like the children's museum, eating at Joe T Garcia's, playing in the water gardens and screaming at the scream tower, as well as something new to us this year: the Chesapeake Energy lighted trees, hundreds of them wrapped in red, green, blue, white, pink and purple lights.

The weather initially was too much like Chicago, gray cold and wet ... but now it's warmed up and Mikey is perfectly at home wearing shorts. The day after Xmas was so cold we stayed inside until we ventured out to Southlake to see a magical movie in 3D: Hugo. Great film. We asked the kids what their favorite part was. Answer: "All the parts." After seeing Hugo and its homage to film history, Linda showed us Beauty and the Beast, the French film she saw when she was little, that introduced her to the magical world of movies. We also introduced Mikey and Jupie to The Nightmare Before Christmas, which of course was exactly Mikey's style. There are really only two seasons in the year, according to him: Halloween and not Halloween.

Once the weather warmed up, the kids were able to draw on the driveway with chalk. Such the little artists. So creative. Mikey makes creatures, like dinosaurs. Jupie draws hearts and peace signs with faces.

The kids museum is always a big hit. So much to see and do. Nice to eat at the cafe as well although Mike was disappointed they didn't have the dinosaur cookies. We did get to see a holiday laser show, though. Cool music and dancing laser lights and designs. And that evening we went to see the Chesapeake Energy trees. Amazing images of the trees all wrapped in lights. We walked around the entire area, with the kids finding new favorites every few minutes.

And yesterday, Wednesday, our last full day ... finally a warm, sunny Texas day. Perfect for lunch at Joe T. Garcia's, the best Mexican restaurant in the entire universe. We walked around after eating, visiting the fountains. And after a lovely lunch, the obligatory trip to the Fort Worth Water Gardens. Kids ran and climbed. We saw a couple of quincenara girls all dressed up in fancy dresses, their parents taking pictures.

Saved the best for last. The Vortex sculpture outside the Kimbell Museum (modern art), aka The Scream Tower. Rob and kids got various items out of the trunk to make noises to echo in the tower. Jupie had fun literally running around and around while the boys made noise. Most visits, we were the only people there, but there were others this time, who joined in the noise-making fun.

So now we pack up and prepare to go home. Lots on the list to do for next visit.

cook with love, clean with rage

maybe that is oversimplifying

but when you create a culinary masterpiece for your dearest and closest, of course it's best to cook with love

enjoy the process of putting things together that will utlimately make a sum that is greater than its parts

to gastronomically delight your family

then ... when everyone including yourself is stuffed and just wants to sit on the couch ...

you grit your teeth and debate how you can possibly ask someone to help clean up without it sounding like a growl

and you either say f** it and turn your back on the kitchen once the urgent items are refrigerated

or you continue to grit your teeth and think how unfair the world is

that you, the woman, has to do ALL the cooking and ALL the cleaning

while others just sit idly by, watching something silly on the tube, or surfing or playing on computer

and then you start noisily cleaning up

still gritting your teeth

but using your anger to expedite an unpleasant process

that should take as little of your precious time as possible

ahhhhhh

just typing that I feel better

so do I have a beer or brew a tea?

better calm down with chamomile ...

but not so much that I slow down the pace of cleaning up the kitchen

let me just expound on "just"

Beware that word, "just."

"Oh, it'll just take a couple minutes."

• Ha. Things always take about 3x as long as you think they should.
• Like beware when someone says "I have a quick question." Again, ha. Never as quick as you'd think.

"Never mind, I'll just do it myself."

• Where's the justice in that? When you count on others helping you get things done, and you feel the need to take it back and "just do it yourself"?
• A few things going on there: you're not asking the best way; or they don't see the value in it and you do therefore already a conflict; or you never learn to delegate.

Wow. Just let me step back and think about the lessons I could learn there.

 

the power of like

Wish I could click the like button for the word "like."

Despite being a word overused by teenagers and people who sound immature, it's small but mighty.

When you like something, you show solidarity and harmony with others who like the same thing. So much more positive than venting or bitching or other negative ways of expressing yourself.

And not only is it essentially a positive word leading to a positive, happy feeling, it functions as a translator. When you say that something is like something else, you're basically benchmarking. If you're trying to describe something to someone, what better way than to compare it to something they do know.

let's try ... a gratitude journal (aka "3 good things")

So today when reading TribU ("the university of you"), Chicago Tribune newspaper insert dated 10 April 2011, I got some good ideas of simple things I can do to be happier. (And read three stories of women who drastically changed careers and are now ecstatically happy with what they are doing. More thinking on that later!)

A really easy and effective thing to do is "gratitude journaling." Also called "Three good things," at the end of the day, you write down at least three good things that happened that day.

Also somewhat effective was "the gratitude visit" where you write and deliver a letter to someone you've not fully thanked yet. However, the positive boost disappeared after half a year. Whereas the "three good things" technique shows benefits within a month, increasing happiness at 1 month, 3 months and 6 months, proving that this boosts happiness most effectively at the 6-monhth mark. Last but not least, "using signature strengths in a new way" was nearly as effective as "3 good things." When participants were informed of their five top character strengths and told to use them more often in the coming week, happiness increased soon after the exercise, increased and persisted for at least 6 months.

So, since it's not the end of the day yet, maybe I'll start with yesterday. Three good things from Saturday, 16 April 2011:

• I took the kids to the LaGrange Public Library for hour; we read 8 books and played a bit.
• We went to the cleanest McDonald's playplace in the area and had a decent dinner and quick playtime, including interacting a bit with other kids.
• Robyn babysat and I was able to: relax and catch up on reading the paper, as well as reorg my desk/home office area; and make headway on the taxes that are due on Monday.

So, all in all, really a pretty good day. Some work. Some play. Some headway.

In fact, those are the top 3, but I have a couple more. I finished an overdue work assignment for my new (half) job, and did it to my comfort level (and my minimal quality expectation). And we saw Madagascar (well, me and the boys; Jupie fell asleep) and there are so many good, time-tested parts of that movie that make everyone laugh. Good end to the day.

and again - the end of an era

I still am somewhat in denial. My "boss" is leaving. Bill, who I've worked with in Chicago for all my tenure at EY, is going to another company. Although he was technically my functional boss (and a lot of fun!), I usually did not get a whole lot of time with him. The time I got was quality time, though.

We will all miss him a lot. We went to Coogan's last Tuesday night and had a nice send-off for him. I asked Chris D. to figure out a song parody, so he came up with "He's Just Our Bill" from the Schoolhouse Rock "I'm Just a Bill." Bill loved it so much he asked for a copy of the lyrics, which we had printed out and brought with us to sing to him. For the record, we are not great singers! but it's the thought that counts, isn't it.

So we have two more official days of Bill, and I'm sure they won't even be full days. And I need to get cracking on that memory book I'm making. Got to get a draft ready for his very last day and then order a very final copy from Shutterfly. What am I doing blogging when I'm so far behind on non-work work-related activities?!

APRIL UPDATE: book printed and electronically shared via facebook; link to it:

copy-and-paste this address into your browser:

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0BYsmrdqycs3QA

 

edit thyself

I guess I was tired of correcting other peoples' mistakes and felt like it was time to make some of my own.

My father-in-law contributed a good quote from Samuel Beckett: "Go on failing. Go on. Only next time, try to fail better."

When you have content already written, it's easy enough to read through it for grammar. Things that follow the rules, for the most part. It's when you have to decide what content goes into your message is when it gets hard. How you say it is key. People have such different perspectives. And you can't please everyone all the time. It's just impossible. So you have to hit the right compromise and the right tone. And timing. Ugh. Pushing higher-ups to approve something, and by the time it's approved, it's not pertinent anymore.

Oh, I should stop whining and exaggerating. I suppose I'm doing ok. I just am told that not everyone enjoys seeing/reading every iteration of every email. Yes, I send too many emails. But when peer review works, it's a beautiful thing. You take it as far as you can go and turn to a colleague and ask for help. Most of the time, they are more than willing to help if they have the time.

Also, you have to chase so many dead ends before you come up with a success. It's just all in the numbers. The entire concept of brainstorming. Come up with a lot of possibilitites and then edit down to the best ones. But everyone in  the brainstorm has to know that it is a brainstorm and have the time for it. Time, attention and focus are critical factors. So you have to be courteous of others' time. You can have a great conversation that was not planned but if someone has to stop and attend to something else, so be it.

I'd better read this again tomorrow. Not sure it makes sense, really. And maybe tomorrow I'll wonder, what was I thinking? and remember - oh - yes, I send too many emails. Edit myself and really think hard: do I really need to create one more email? Do I really need to know? Do I really need to share something that will be perceived as valuable? And then be bold enough to send it, if the answers are yes. But edit it down to the bare necessities. No blah blah blah. REally. Former editor, edit thyself.

farewell to CY2010; midway thru FY11 ...

... and I still have not completed what I thought I could or would by Christmas, but that's ok. If no one is using it or needing it, then so be it. Maybe I can make more headway on QA wrap-up in the future in the framework of other projects. Or if I don't need to, heck, I don't need to. Good enough is good enough and most people know what they need to know already.

I should have known better. When I have time off of work, I end up spending my time doing non-work activities, and trying to organize my personal life. And when I think maybe I'll sneak in a bit of work around the non-work ... well, that's not expected. And not realistic. Maybe I'll learn one of these days.

For now, I have a somewhat-reclaimed house that is showing promising signs of organization. Only the near future will tell if we remain on an organized and clutter-contained trajectory. Once I get control of my house, though, still need to deal with my "new" office downtown ... so little space, so many archives and books. Sigh. If only I weren't such a packrat. But really, what else should I do with my Tufte books? Can't throw those out! I may even want to read them again sometime in my "spare time." And at home, my husband certainly helps with the clutter! He is more of an impulse buyer than I am sometimes, especially at toy stores. Again, sigh ... more little pieces to possibly step on. I guess if you can clear a path thru clutter to walk through, or throw all the pieces in some sort of container, good enough is good enough.

Perhaps that's my motto for 2011. Good enough is good enough. Perfectionism is not healthy  for working mothers.

ch-ch-ch-changes

Things are drastically different for me at work.

Have to say, I am enjoying the freedom of not being tied to other peoples' schedules quite as much as I was when in charge of an editing workflow.  

I still have a lot to do if I intend to publish "leading practices" by Christmas. Hard to wrap up the old job when no one is expecting me to do it.

Things will likely get a lot more different still in the rest of this fiscal year.

Bingo!

Finding more buried treasure. Bingo!

and a much earlier version of bingo: